10 things that moms really want for Christmas

10 things every mother would put on her list to Santa. Note to husbands and kids: they don’t cost a thing!

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Your family members have been asking what you want for Christmas. Your husband thinks you long for new jewelry, a night out on the town, or a cashmere sweater. Your children are hard at work on coupon books, art projects, and handmade gifts.

Because we’re moms, we’ll accept our family member’s thoughtful presents, whatever they may be, with gratitude (and possibly a few tears; never underestimate the emotional power of a few stick figures or a macaroni necklace). We’ll display even the most artistically-challenged masterpieces with pride.

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However, after a little bit of thought and a lot of dreaming, I’ve come up with a list of the things we moms really want for Christmas. We’re not having visions of sugarplums; our desires are much more practical. If we were completely honest, here’s what the “What Mommy Wants for Christmas” list would look like:

1. At least thirty uninterrupted minutes in the bathroom, all to ourselves. What will we do with all that time, you ask? Take a bubble bath, paint our toenails—the possibilities are endless. Just thinking about it gets us all a-flutter.

2. Our spouses to find something all by themselves, without any input from us. We know this is a big request—but we believe in our hubbies. They bring home a paycheck, change diapers, and navigate on road trips. Surely they can locate the peanut butter, just this once.

3. The laundry and dishes to a) magically disappear for a few days or b) get done by elves. After all, both piles seem to appear instantly and multiply exponentially. Couldn’t the same principle work in reverse? We’re not asking for miracles—just a tiny bit of Christmas magic.

4. Our kids to do our least-favorite chores expertly, with a smile and without whining. We suggest they watch the animals-helping-make-the-dress scene in Cinderella for reference.

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5. The time to make it all the way through a magazine—even a thick, juicy one—in one sitting. Do you want to know a secret? We actually don’t mind going to the dentist, for this very reason. They have the new issues of our favorites, and no one asks for a sippy cup while we’re perusing the pages. A cleaning and x-rays seem a fair price to pay for reading in piece.

6. Speaking of thick and juicy, we’d like to eat our dinner as slowly and quietly as we want … and not have to share a single bite with anyone.

7. One entire day without bickering, crying, and drama … especially from the children.

8. Our thighs and tummy to suddenly revert to pre-children size and appearance. No celery or Pilates required.

9. And while we’re fantasizing: Someone amazing, who loves our kids and vice versa, to give us a year’s free babysitting whenever we need it—even at the last minute. Especially at the last minute. Maybe she could even fly in with an umbrella?

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10. At least four extra hours in the day so we’d actually have time for things we enjoyed (like friends and hobbies) before we became a 24/7 mom. Or for a nap. We’d really like more naps.

Don’t get me wrong: the best gifts a mother can ever receive, by far, are the members of our families. Still, a mother can’t help but dream just a little.

 

Dena Dyer
Dena Dyer
Dena's work has appeared in dozens of publications, including Reader's Digest, Woman's World, Family Circle, Redbook, Today's Christian Woman, and more. She's also the author or co-author of eight books; her newest release (written with her husband of 21 years) is the humorous devotional book, Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples.

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